In every good martial arts movie there is a scene where a warrior is surrounded by other fighters. It would appear at first glance the warrior is doomed. However, he is a wise warrior. He knows his opponents are fools, and so he simply allows there inability to work together to defeat themselves.
Jeff, to your wise judo-like maneuver, I tip my hat. The Christians you have been fighting have so bloodied themselves, we hardly look like our namesake. I am glad we have had this opportunity and I hope this serves only as a stepping stone to us deepening our friendship. You will always be a cherished friend and welcome in my home. I've been reading a book by Lee Strobel called The Case for the Real Jesus. 
As I read it I find it saying everything I want to say to you, and it says it better than I could. I am going to send you a copy as my final "two cents." I would be open to you giving me an idea of what I might read for your final "two cents."
Jim, Kate, Passionate, I submit to your greater wisdom. I have been wrong. Passionate, was right. My intentions were to usher in the great tribulation with Jeff. I was hoping by our helping disabled children to usher in the age of the Anti-Christ, but you have foiled my plans. Curses! However, I repent. You're right! My biblical interpretation is wrong. Yours is best. However, let's be clear. You are not literalists. You are letterists (Letterism defined: While often ignoring context, historical and cultural setting, and even
grammatical structure, letterism takes each word as an isolated truth.
A problem with this method is that it fails to take into account the
different literary genre, or types, in the Bible. Letterism tends to lead to legalism because of its
inability to distinguish between literary types. All passages tend to
become equally binding on current believers.) This will be my final missive to you as well for after I am done with this post I am going to pluck out my eye and cut off my hands for they all continue to aid and abet my sinning. Please pick me up and take me to the bunker where we can sit, and wait, and hate until Jesus comes again. While we're there, we can burn copies of Mark Noll's book The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind . 
(Note: for anyone interested I submit this article in reference to the nuance of biblical interpretation. In it you will find the most common principles used by biblical scholars all around the world. It's not brain surgery, but it's not idiocy either as some in this conversation have wanted to suggest.)
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